I’m single in my 30s. I would get married to have children. I briefly dated a man who had some readiness-to-date issues, to put it politely. Now, months later, he claims he wants to get married so bad. The problem is he had a vasectomy. Help me out: doesn’t vasectomy mean you chose to be sterilized? Isn’t a vasectomy an eloquent way to say I NEVER want kids? Now he’s talking a whole lotta mess about how we need to get married and have kids and he’ll stay home to raise them while I’m at work. And how I should hurry up and get in vitro fertilization. Y’know, needles and surgery and petri dishes. Say what?
I am a successful decorator married to a policeman named Jeff. When we got together and when we first got married, everything was great. Now it’s three years later and we haven’t been able to conceive. My doctor has tested me and tested me and says I am perfectly healthy. Now, Jeff has visted his doctor as well. He claims he’s fine but he’ll never let me go with him to his appointments or see any test or lab results. Obviously, I make more money than Jeff. Obviously, I made it clear I wanted kids when we married. Now I’d like to pursue options like in vitro, a surrogate, even adoption. Jeff is completely against what he calls “unnatural” methods. And he’s taken to calling me “barren” and “hag” when we argue all the time. Why do I suspect he has a problem with his “little soldiers” and that he’s known it all along?
Both these guys are trying to pull a fast one. Guy A is all over getting you in a marriage by playing along with your goal to conceive children. In vitro is very expensive and doesn’t work all the time. But by then he’ll have the license, access to your assets and lovely, unsuspecting you trapped you in an infertile marriage.
Guy B is a total Deceptacon. He likely knew he was sterile or had himself neutered, married you without disclosing that key fact and now blocks your creative efforts to solve apparent fertility issues. On top of that hoodwinking, he’s humiliating you with namecalling and “barren.”
This is so pimp: aggressively telling you the extreme opposite of the real facts.
Get. Out. Now. Divorce. Annulment. Civil suit. These are your options. These men are the new “golddiggers.” They pretend to want a normal marriage and kids when all they want is to legally suture you to their side and get in your pockets.