I was involved with a minor fender-bender and a traffic cop assisted to write up the report and oversee my exchange of information with the at-fault driver.  He was a friendly, good-looking guy.  After the incident was over, I was surprised when he called my cell phone and said he was in the area near my house.  He didn’t seem like a weirdo but he only got my info because he was a cop.  When I begged off seeing him that first time, he kept popping by my neighborhood.  I can’t be sure but it seemed like he felt that I owed him a date or whatever for simply doing his job.

-Jill N.

I bought my first home in a gated community on the South end of Las Vegas, Nevada.  My next door neighbor Steve is a fatherly divorcee with two grown sons. I had some water damage around my garage baseboards and Steve helped me find a contractor for cleaning up the damage.  In the process, Steve cased me and my house.  I do live alone and I don’t have a boyfriend since I just moved here. Now he tries to come over any time and foist himself into the role of being my new boyfriend.  Now I don’t want to “s*** where I rest at” so how can I salt his game without incurring hostility?

-Brandy Y.


These dudes are being helpful and that’s real swell.  But that’s their foot in the door.  Their help is a gesture that’s supposed to get you beyond being grateful to feeling obligated.  Men are often dominant when asking a woman out but showing up in your neighborhood or on your doorstep is extra.  It’s pushy as all get-out.  Each dude is implying that you won’t say “no” so why should they allow you to?  Intimidation with a smile and a hand on your waist is very much plain old intimidation.


Do you know any large African American men preferably with some jail time, or at least street credibility?  Somebody who could do a little stop-by or three?  Just kidding.  Not really kidding though. It’s a touchy situation.  These are more situations where each man is hoping that you’re on your own, lonesome and vulnerable.  Saying “no” could be enough. But still a strong male presence on a regular basis will never go to waste.



  1. Hi! Quick question that’s entirely off topic. Do you know how to make your site mobile friendly? My blog looks weird when browsing from my iphone4. I’m trying to find a theme or plugin that might be able to fix this issue. If you have any suggestions, please share. Appreciate it!

  2. Hmm it looks like your site ate my first comment (it was extremely long) so I guess I’ll just sum it up what I wrote and say, I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog. I too am an aspiring blog writer but I’m still new to the whole thing. Do you have any tips and hints for novice blog writers? I’d certainly appreciate it.

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