GARDEN-VARIETY CRIMINAL

LOVE SCENE INVESTIGATION

Scott is a successful District Attorney.  He’s good-looking, friendly, athletic with a graduate degree from Boston University.  I love him but when it’s time to party alcohol isn’t enough for Scott.  He and his well-to-do, successful friends are all about the marijuana leaf.  But this is not California. And we don’t live in Oregon.  Weed is still illegal in New York City.  And somehow Scott’s high-falutin’ City Government job don’t seem to go with his pot smoker ways and drug dealer friends.  I’m still young and figuring out where I’m going in life. But am I right this druggin’ for fun isn’t gonna end well for Scott or me?

-Karenna V.

My Baby Daddy is a Transit Cop who retired a few years ago.  He used to bust people for hopping the turnstyle, spitting on the train, putting their feet on the seats.  When he retired he kept the key that lets him through the door free, instead of paying $2.50 in fare like everybody else.  This is him:  the rules are for everybody else and he’s just here to get over. He’s a terrible example for our son and he thinks his s*** don’t stink.

-Marisol J.

WARNING SIGNALS

There’s something particularly eloquent about men who work in law enforcement who break the law with such regularity and gusto. Do as I say not as I do, indeed.  Pattern hypocrisy is a big flashing neon sign telling you precisely who this guy is.  A King of Double standards in the first instance. A lout and a hypocritical control freak in the second case.

As Stanley Kubrick so rightly points out in his masterpiece “A Clockwork Orange,” the criminal and police classes are one in the same. Mick Jagger of the Rolling Stones even adds: “Every cop is a criminal…”

And to think Mr. District Attorney regularly puts folks away for toking and possession when he does it on the daily.

TROUBLE-SHOOTING

Let the buyer beware.  If he’s your one and only true love and soulmate, you calculate and live with the risk.  But you really have to be clear that you embrace, not just tolerate, his choices.  What if he gets busted on camera at the airport?  What if Mr. Transit-Free-Rider ends up in the Daily News with photographs?  Are you gonna love him enough when the s*** hits the fan?

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