LOVE SCENE INVESTIGATION
My ex-boyfriend Kenny from college recently looked me up and we had dinner in Greenwich Village at a lovely Italian joint with a courtyard patio with trees. A decade ago, we had parted ways after a pregnancy scare made it clear I didn’t want marriage and a family with him then. He had travelled to Japan, Turkey and the Carribbean growing his apparel business. I praised him for achieving all that though he had never gone to college. So he’s telling me how his marriage to his son’s mother hadn’t worked out and he still loves me — won’t I give us another chance? I said I would consider it. Encouraged, he starts telling me his plans for us to have 5 kids and buy a big house in the 5 towns of Long Island. I said, “Wow! When’s all this supposed to happen?” He replies, “When I’m rich because right now my business has me $325,000 in debt.”
Frank and I met working together on a cruise ship line. We were friends for years and then we coupled up after we both moved on to landlocked careers — me as a caterer and him as a personal trainer. We talked about getting married to have a family. After a lovely ceremony on the beach, we tried unsuccessfully to conceive for a year and a half. All the while, Frank was very loving and supportive as we explored in vitro fertilization. So I’m sick and bloated from 3 rounds of fertility treatments when Frank finally admits he is sterile and has been since childhood.
These wonderful promises sound so beautiful and we want too desperately for them to be true. But to lay fault at the proper doorstep, your paramour is lying to you. Being strung along is no fun. But it’s worst when buying the lines costs us our actual dreams.
Let the buyer beware. As with business, keep an open mind when a loved one discusses goals with you. Ask plenty of questions and look beyond the answers to his actual circumstance. If you persist with gentleness and love, you may be surprised to learn your gentleman feels he owes you the truth. Praise his honesty but, if he’s not right for you and your life goals, keep it moving.