DATING GOLDEN RULES EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW – Part 1

LOVE SCENE INVESTIGATION

I’m a junior at Barnard College in NYC. I’ll get my Bachelor’s degree, majoring in Art History. I came in to school with as many Advanced Placement credits as I could get in my hometown of Mill Valley, CA. I’ll finish in three years instead of four but I’m under pressure from my parentals to get my “MRS” degree before graduation. And before I “expire” according to my Mom. So there’s this guy Alex who’s perfect — tall, smart, rich, athletic, related to J.P. Morgan. We’ve been hooking up for a year and just became exclusive. So since I’m a dark-haired, designer-clothed Cuban from Miami my Mom is insisting I transform myself into a New England preppie “to seal the deal.”

-Yolanda C.

My boyfriend Manuel and I met working at Job Corps.  I had just come back from my second tour with the National Guard in Iraq; he had just finished a bid in juvie.  Way I see it, we were both starting over.  He wants babies, I wanna get married.  We’re both Catholic so that’s the dance.  But where I can be mouthy, he likes to get handy as in back-handy if the mood strikes him.  It’s rare but I ain’t gonna lie — it happens. Now Manuel’s Papito is the same way with his Mamacita but that don’t make it right.  And you should hear how Manuel talks back to his Mama. We’ve had heated fights about how it’ll go if we stay together but now he’s hard to find nights and weekends.  He’s punishing me.  It’s been 18 months we’ve been together.  Now he’s short with me, cold but relentlessly sexual.  He’s actively trying to get me pregnant.  So what do you make of that?  And what should I do about it?

-Eileen K.

WARNING SIGNALS

“The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.”
– Maya Angelou

Your gut is telling you there’s a difference between what you want and what you are getting.

TROUBLE-SHOOTING

Trust your instincts — they’re there to protect you. Use all the information you’re getting from your relationship: the talking, the loving, the contradictions and the bad that goes with the good.

But here’s some ideas to help you review your situation:

1. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship.

Are you a spy on an undercover mission?  If not, there can’t be longterm value in going deep cover to win a guy.  The true you will emerge eventually just in time for a breakup or divorce court.

2. Don’t look for someone to complete you.

A partial person can’t form a solid, healthy relationship.  If you’re too young or just not done becoming who you are, you’re not ready to commit. If you’re ready, look for someone who compliments you, not supplementary crutch.

3. If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay.

A lover votes with their feet.  What does your guys feet tell you?  Be honest.

4. If you want to have a clue as to how he will treat you, watch how he treats his Mom.

It’s cliche but the template most people have about relationships comes from their parents, step-parents, guardians, what-have-you.  Pay very close attention to his Mom’s role and treatment in his family home.

5. Don’t think it will get better.

Especially if you’re dealing with verbal or physical abuse, it may be okay for a while but the fundamental behavior is right there waiting to surface.

6. Don’t fall for the “I’m confused role.”

This is the original “buying time” routine.  Keep him on your radar but take a break and see other people.  He may never figure it out.  But at least you won’t waste valuable time a wishin’ and a hopin.’

7. Don’t date anyone dumber, shorter or poorer than you are.

This is a rough piece of old-school wisdom.  Sometimes a man’s passive-aggressive hostility is about his insecurity and jealousy over who you are.  It’s worth thinking about.

8. Sometimes when you give up on someone, it’s not because you don’t care anymore but because he doesn’t.

It sucks to let a loved one go but if he doesn’t love you the way you need to be loved, what’s the point?

84 thoughts on “DATING GOLDEN RULES EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW – Part 1

  1. Pretty nice post. I just stumbled upon your weblog and wished to say that I’ve really enjoyed browsing your blog posts. After all I will be subscribing to your rss feed and I hope you write again very soon!

  2. Your creative writing abilities has encouraged me to get my own singapore event photographer website now.We would like to thank you for the amount of efforts you’ve put in writing this website. We am hoping the same top grade website post from you in the upcoming as well. Actually the blogging is spreading its wings rapidly. Your write up is a great example of it.

  3. Hello, i think that i saw you visited my web site so i came to “return the favor”.I’m attempting to find things to improve my site!I suppose its ok to use some of your ideas!!

  4. A lot of thanks for every one of your work on this web site. My mum takes pleasure in setting aside time for investigations and it’s easy to understand why. Most of us know all concerning the dynamic way you present reliable ideas on the web blog and in addition foster contribution from some other people on the theme and our child is really studying a whole lot. Take pleasure in the remaining portion of the new year. Your doing a powerful job.

  5. Does your site have requirements for syndication of your content?I would be very interested in translation of some of your content into Russian for my sites viewers, and wondered what your rules on this would be. We will of course include proper acreditation.

  6. I enjoy your comment, have you considered adding and RSS feed feature? That will allow me to get automatic updates of new pages. If you set up updates via RSS, please email me! I will bookmark your website for now. Again Excellent design!

  7. Excellent blog here! Also your website loads up very fast! What web host are you using? Can I get your affiliate link to your host? I wish my site loaded up as quickly as yours lol

  8. Pingback: Barbara Cole

  9. For my Creative Writing class we have to write a short story, I really want to write some thing along the lines of Columbine, but I’m worried about the reaction of my teacher. As far as I know, he has no personal history with the idea, but … I don’t know. What would you want to see out of a short story for a creative writing class?.

  10. I too conceive good ideas that can help people as much as yours. Therefore, you’ve inspired me with your perfectly written post!

  11. Thanks for the writeup. I surely agree with what you are saying. I have been talking about this topic a lot lately with my father so hopefully this will get him to see my point of view. Fingers crossed!

  12. I’ve been reading a few posts and really and enjoy your writing. I’m just setting up my own blog and only hope that I can write as well and give the reader so significantly insight.

  13. I must express my respect for your generosity for people that require guidance on this particular area of interest. Your special commitment to passing the message all through turned out to be certainly practical and has continually enabled daters much like me to attain their objectives. Your new interesting key points indicates much a person like me and a whole lot more to my peers. Thanks a ton!

    -From all of us

  14. Hey There. I identified your weblog utilizing msn. This can be an extremely well written article. I will make positive to bookmark it and come back to read far more of your useful details. Thanks for the post. I will undoubtedly comeback.

  15. I’m just writing to let you be aware of what a brilliant discovery my wife’s child encountered checking your weblog. She came to understand plenty of pieces, not to mention how it is actually like to have an ideal helping style to have other people without having problems thoroughly grasp chosen impossible points. You undoubtedly surpassed readers’ expected results. A lot of thanks for rendering these beneficial, trusted, educational and in addition special guidance on the topic to Emily.

  16. Appreciate it for sharing DATING GOLDEN RULES EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW – Part 1 | KISSING UP with us keep update bro love your article about DATING GOLDEN RULES EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW – Part 1 | KISSING UP .

  17. Woah! I’m really digging the template/theme of this site. It’s simple, yet effective. A lot of times it’s tough to get that “perfect balance” between superb usability and appearance. I must say that you’ve done a fantastic job with this. In addition, the blog loads very quick for me on Internet explorer. Excellent Blog!

  18. Alors oui et aussi non. Affirmatif étant donné que on découvre plus de sources qui parlent de les memes vérités. Non car cela n’est pas suffisant de recopier ce qu’on est en mesure de rencontrer sur plusieurs site internet extérieurs et de l’interpréter tant naturellement;

  19. Hi there, I found your blog via Google while looking for a related topic, your web site came up, it looks great. I’ve bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.

  20. I just had to take a moment to thank you for sharing this with us. As a average citizen I’ve really appreciated the great insights and content obtained from visiting your blog. I hope you will continue to develop a intelligent community here as I will participate…

  21. Hey There. I found your blog using msn. This is a really well written article. I will be sure to bookmark it and come back to read more of your useful info. Thanks for the post. I’ll definitely come back.

  22. I’m not certain the place you’re getting your information — however good topic. I must spend a while learning more & figuring out more. Thanks for great information I was in search of these insights for my love life.

  23. Why didnt I think about this? I hear exactly what youre saying and Im so happy that I came across your blog. You really know what youre talking about, and you made me feel like I should learn more about this. Thanks for this!! Im officially a huge fan of your blog!

  24. This is really interesting, You are a very skilled blogger. I have joined your rss feed and look forward to seeking more of your wonderful post. Also, I’ve shared your web site in my social networks!

  25. Magnificent web site. Plenty of useful information here. I am sending it to several friends ans additionally sharing in delicious. And certainly, thanks on your sweat!

  26. Hi there, just became aware of your blog through Google, and found that it is truly informative. I am going to watch out for new posts. I’ll be grateful if you continue this in future. Numerous people will be benefited from your writing. Cheers!

  27. I ought to say, youve got one of the greatest blogs I’ve observed in a long time. What I wouldnt give to have the ability to develop a blog thats as interesting as this. I guess I’ll just need to keep reading yours and hope that 1 day I can write on a subject with as considerably expertise as youve got on this 1!

  28. Excellent beat ! I wish to apprentice while you amend your website, how can i subscribe for a blog website? The account helped me a acceptable deal. I had been a little bit acquainted of this your broadcast provided bright clear concept

  29. I like what you guys are up also. Such smart work and reporting! Keep up the superb works guys I¡¦ve incorporated you guys to my blogroll. I think it’ll improve the value of my web site🙂

  30. Thank you for all of the labor on this blog. My mom loves participating in internet research and it’s easy to understand why. Most people hear all about the dynamic means you provide worthwhile guides by means of the web site and in addition invigorate response from the others on that issue while my child is always studying a great deal. Have fun with the remaining portion of the year. You are always carrying out a really good job.

  31. greetings there, i just found your website listed on google, and i must say that you write exceptionally good via your blog. i am really impressed by the way that you compose, and the message is quality. anyways, i would also like to acknowledge whether you would love to exchange links with my website? i will be certainly more than happy to reciprocate and insert your link on in the blogroll. looking for your respond, thanks and cheers!

  32. Hi I am so delighted I found your blog page, I really found you by mistake, while I was searching on Aol for something else, Nonetheless I am here now and would just like to say kudos for a incredible post and a all round interesting blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to browse it all at the minute but I have bookmarked it and also included your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read much more, Please do keep up the great job.

  33. You have writtent an amazing post about DATING GOLDEN RULES EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW – Part 1 | KISSING UP. I will link to your post. Thanks.

  34. Wonderful goods from you, man. I have understand your stuff previous to and you’re just extremely magnificent. I really like what you’ve acquired here, really like what you are stating and the way in which you say it. You make it entertaining and you still care for to keep it sensible. I can not wait to read far more from you. This is actually a great website.

  35. Youre so right. Im there with you. Your weblog is certainly worth a read if anybody comes throughout it. Im lucky I did because now Ive got a whole new view of this. I didnt realise that this issue was so important and so universal. You surely put it in perspective for me.

  36. Hey there! This is my 1st comment here so I just wanted to give a quick shout out and tell you I truly enjoy reading your posts. Can you suggest any other blogs/websites/forums that deal with the same topics? Appreciate it!

  37. I’ve been surfing online more than three hours today, yet I never found any interesting article like yours. It’s pretty worth enough for me. In my opinion, if all webmasters and bloggers made good content as you did, the internet will be a lot more useful than ever before.

  38. Pretty great post. I simply stumbled upon your blog and wished to mention that I have truly loved surfing around your blog posts. After all I’ll be subscribing in your rss feed and I hope you write once more very soon!

  39. Hello There. I found your blog using msn. This is an extremely well written article. I’ll be sure to bookmark it and return to read more of your useful information. Thanks for the post. I will definitely comeback.

  40. I am also commenting to make you be aware of what a beneficial experience my cousin’s girl undergone browsing the blog. She came to find a wide variety of issues, most notably how it is like to possess an excellent giving mood to make many others without difficulty thoroughly grasp specific very confusing subject matter. You really surpassed our expectations. Thank you for presenting those great, trusted, revealing as well as fun tips on your topic to Jane.

  41. I think this is one of the most significant info for me. And i’m glad reading your article. But should remark on some general things, The website style is perfect, the articles is really great : D. Good job, cheers

  42. I’m impressed, I must say. Actually hardly ever do I encounter a weblog that’s each educative and entertaining, and let me inform you, you’ve gotten hit the nail on the head. Your thought is outstanding; the difficulty is one thing that not sufficient persons are talking intelligently about. I am very completely happy that I stumbled throughout this in my search for one thing relating to this.

  43. With the knowledge you’ve gained from this article, you should now feel even more excited to begin your web designing efforts! Continuously look for new tips and tools so that you can always be at the top of your game.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s