My name is Mathilde and I come from the Phillipines.  After I barely made it out of high school there, I saw many American soldiers and tourists visit Manila. How rich they all were!  I yearned for a better life without my 9 family members living together in a small house.  I love my family but no one on American television has relatives sleeping on the floor in the living room.  I dreamed of a better life with grocery stores and shopping and big houses.  But I couldn’t get a visa to work in America.  Then it hit me — my auntie Berta had married an American G.I. and got a non-resident alien card.  So I got creative.  I used my high school diploma to apply to study at Santa Clara College in California and got a student visa in my name.  Then when I got to the States, I planned to use my “borrowed” Auntie Berta’s passport and social security card.  My family told me I was being a stupid girl.  They forbade me to go.  Mami took my money and my passport away.  But that didn’t stop me.   I had stolen Auntie’s ID and we look similar.  So that is how I, Mathilde, became Berta. I had sold my family’s TVs to get the money to buy my ticket.  I flew right to Santa Clara, CA and lived in the dorms, studying to be a nurse.   I even had my own work-study job in the library.  Soon I met a nice Filipino  postal worker called Petey who was separated from his wife.  He’s got a Federal job with the government.  Freddy and I went on dates hiking and eating at restaurants!  There were so many nice Filipinos in California.  Our love grew and soon I found out I was pregnant.  This was my dream come true – a baby of my own!  And my baby would anchor me in the country.  And Freddy would be my  American husband.  I bragged to my family in the Phillipines.  I was having the last laugh.  But now my daughter Kimmy is two years old.  And Freddy went back to his wife.  And I am too scared to get the welfare because I’ll get caught for immigration fraud.  Freddy says he loves Kimmy but now he says he wishes she was never born.

-Mathilde O.

I am Marta.  I work at California University where my two sons get free college tuition.  My pretty boy ex-husband Cliff is goodlooking and charming.  Cliff is also a deadbeat Dad to the tune of $400,000 he owes me and his sons.  But Cliff chooses not to work or to work at his own business just enough to get by.  That way the courts can’t garnish his wages.  My sons are good boys and they want to finish their educations with graduate degrees.  I’m barely getting by and their Dad does nothing!  I hate my life and I feel like I can’t control the  neurosis of my anger at Cliff.  It’s as if he’s acting like he has no responsibility for his sons. To be honest, I was always the breadwinner, the responsible one. I’m on the verge of bankruptcy. I don’t regret my sons but if I had the chance to do it all over again, pretty boy-cheapskate Cliff wouldn’t be my husband.

-Marta Q.


This impulse to impregnate women and then opt out of responsibility is as stunning as it is common.  There’s so many ways to avoid pregnancy.  But the mental game that fools women is that the men do everything to knock you up and then sometime thereafter act dumbfounded that they’re expected to ante up to care for them.  These losers truly believe they can opt out of being Dads by choosing not to and withholding funds from their own seeds.  Financial abortion is dastardly and cowardly.


Situations like these underscore the importance not only of marriage but the full integration of families that can keep papa in line emotionally and financially.  Outside the courts and paternity tests, the road of single motherhood can be a risky and bitter one.

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