THE SOCIAL CLIMBING MALE

LOVE SCENE INVESTIGATION

Sanjip only dates women ranking above himself in the pharmaceutical industry.  He uses these women and sets them up with some blackmail type scenario. It all starts with courtliness and astounding attentiveness.  They feel they’ve discovered true love and a good man who loves the Lord.  Then it’s smutty texts, emails and photos he can use to intimidate and manipulate them into giving him introductions, recommendations, and even jobs.  He is an absolute maniac of ambition with no conscience.  Until other women he steps on speak out, he’s headed straight to the top.  I wonder where he came up with these tactics and how common they are.

-Palmera C.

Marcellus is a sports industry groupie.  Ever since he blew out his knee in college and ruined his chance to play pro ball, he’s been looking to make someone pay for his lost prospects. He just won’t date a woman who can’t further his interests in sports management.  He wants to go to the games, be seen, talk the talk and be an insider at any costs.  Nor will he date a woman who doesn’t keep him.  She needs to be high-powered & high-paid or no-go.  He’s also on the down-low with a fake wanna-be/ never-was career as an R&B singer.  He claims I won’t tell his latest victim, a high-ranking woman at the top of the food chain at the National Football League, because I need to use her for business purposes of my own.  Marcellus ain’t no dummy — he’s right.  I’ll never tell his secrets.

-Kyle L. G.

WARNING SIGNALS

If a guy seems too wonderful, too perfect, too nice … well, he may be too good to be true. I’m really a terrible cynic but stories like these have women bracing themselves for the big reveal of Mr. Hyde that unsuits from within Dr. Jekyll’s skin.

It happens all too often that women are targets of insincere Romeos with their way to make in the world.  It’s one thing if your partner benefits from your willing help.  But it’s a calamity when you get close to the wrong one and he goes all out to 1.) make your life a nightmare and 2.) get all the material and social goods he can squeeze out of you against your will by twisting your arm.

I wish it meant something to know a guy’s friends or his family or where he went to school. But as we know our social circles are brimming with subtle or closet sociopaths who will step on and destroy anyone to pave their way to success.

TROUBLE-SHOOTING

Cut this dude off.  Take the embarrassment, take your lumps.  You’re a grown woman. Contact law enforcement if need be. Your relationship was based on lies and exploitation.

Heartless it may be, but headless it ain’t. I don’t claim to be nice or sentimental, just to be sensible.

If your man fits these criteria and exhibits these behaviors, for your own safety and mental health — he’s gotta go.

AGGRESSIVE WOMEN

Gallery

This gallery contains 2 photos.

LOVE SCENE INVESTIGATION I am a liberated female and I do not need a man.  I work hard for long hours and have made Vice President at my firm.  I tried Match.com and eHarmony but I’ll tell you what:  for … Continue reading

YOUR MONEY BUT HE’S IN CHARGE

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This gallery contains 2 photos.

LOVE SCENE INVESTIGATION Janet is a top television executive who essentially married a subordinate, a vendor.  Her husband Barry ran a penny-ante production company that made short interstitials for her channels.  So they get in the family way with two … Continue reading

THE BULLY-BOSS

WORK SCENE INVESTIGATION

When I sat with my boss for my first annual performance review, she grudgingly said based on the President and Board Members’ input I was a stellar employee.  She went down the whole list of aspects and my outstanding ratings.  When we both signed the review, she couldn’t resist adding that she whenever she saw me smiling at the office, she hated it and hated me for it.

-Kintara B.

After college graduation, I just landed the job of my dreams — digital marketing, a bump above entry level.  My new boss gave me a total number for my salary and benefits and I agreed.  Only when I got my first paycheck, I realized he lied about my salary and benefits rate. When I raised the issue, he threatened me with my three-month probation verdict:  I might not make it to three-months if I didn’t shut up about his pulling a fast one.

-Forrest K.

WARNING SIGNS

Not limited to sexism or racism, the inappropriate remark from a manager is all the more dangerous because of the boss’s power over your employment.  As long as you are there, the Bully Boss has major influence over your employment.  You’re basically dared to complain.  Even if you leave the company, these malcontent bosses may not hesitate to give you a bad reference or plain ol’ bad reputation.

TROUBLESHOOTING

There is no easy way out of this. You need and want your job.  The Bully Boss feels in total control of the working relationship, making you bow and scrape is their greatest pleasure.  Knowing you need your paycheck and their guidance to get your job done makes the Bully Boss feel powerful.  Try not to act surprised when the Bully Boss tries to act like you two are really friends.  The “L” word (as in “I love you”) may come into play, especially if you are dealing with a woman boss.

And like a bad marriage, all you can do is limit the interaction, get what value you can and DO NOT TAKE IT PERSONALLY.  This mode of demeaning behavior was going on before you got there and won’t stop after you are gone.  In the best scenario, you and other victims can have Human Resources conduct a 360 degree review of this person, thereby getting input from fellow employees above and below your problem manager.  Hopefully, that process will set up a warning-then-consequences protocol for your Bully Boss.  It just might solve the problem, or at least get the nut-manager into therapy. In the worst case scenario, you have to suck it up every work day and look forward to Happy Hour and days off.