I get it — you have life goals: good job, good love, good family. But, on the job, in your social network and at the bar, New York City is the Olympics of hoodwinking.

KISSING UP is a step-by-step guide to keep your life on track and keep your heart intact.

In today’s society, nobody’s gonna hit you on the head to get their way. They will, however, lie and manipulate you quicker than you can say “Boo.” Blatant exploitation has be replaced with sneaky tricks and passive aggression. The dynamics may be subtler but the intent is always the same: control. The cute guy who doesn’t call, the co-worker who invites you to the big meeting at the wrong start time, the girlfriend who hangs out just to meet all the hot guys you know.

Believe you me, I’ve been there. If your boss isn’t trying to play you like you’re dumb, other phonies may be busy trying to convince you that the friendship and love is real.

KISSING UP is the resource to give you the tips and exercises you need to play to win on that Olympic field called “Life in the Big City.” To weed out the worthless & help the real thing blossom.


  1. People want the kind of love they can’t or won’t give.
  2. Never be with anyone dumber, shorter or poorer than you.  Or end up paying for it.
  3. Marry the one you love the most.  Or marry the one who loves you the most. You choose.
  4. If it don’t come easy, you better let it go.
  5. Are you better off with or without this person in your life?
  6. The way he treats you reflects the way he’ll treat your children.

I’ve gleaned these very dense concepts from year of listening to interlocking circles of women and their wisdom.  To give well-deserved credit where it’s due, some men have contributed to these ideas as well. These guidelines can help you streamline your thinking and make educated decisions about what you want out of life and your relationships.

Pain makes you stronger.

Fear makes you braver.

Heartbreak makes you wiser.

So let’s put on our thinking caps and thank the past for a better future.

KISSING UP – Date & Work Smarter, Not Harder

Welcome to an oasis of realism in the New York City social scene of bullies, hustlers and the truly crazy.  Author Patricia Cornwell writes novels about crimes of extreme violence.  When I met her at Barnes & Noble’s bookstore on Union Square, she said all shadings of evil and wrongdoing boil down to one thing: abuse of power.

Probably for me one of the most important things I’ve learned is how to read people better. Grasping their motives would be a heckuva lot easier if folks were straight-forward.  But no such luck.  If I had known more and been more discerning earlier, I may have avoided men, frienemies/ enamigas and co-workers who were toxic. If I had been better at picking quality men, I might be married now instead of clutching at the few good guys left in a sea of undesirables.

Many of life’s unprosecuted trangressions have a goal: they let the perpetrator get over on you.

Let’s delve into some of this everyday abuse so you can 1.) recognize it and 2.) manage it, even if you can’t quite put a stop to it yet.